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| Many managers complain that their employees load up their sentences with unnecessary words that do not contribute useful information, and so obscure rather than contribute to the message. These unnecessary words are known as "low information content" (LIC) expressions, like these: |
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• due to the fact that |
(replace with because) |
| • in the vicinity of |
(replace with near) |
| • involves the use of |
(replace with uses) |
| • it is our considered opinion |
(replace with we consider) |
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Wordy expressions are difficult to avoid because you see other writers using them. As young students, our teachers would assign essays that required a certain number of words and to obtain the minimum length, we would add extra, fluff words that added no value. These words are still in our vocabulary and sneak into our professional documents. As adults, we need to write clear, concise, and complete information but these wordy expressions hinder our communication. If you do not remove them, your readers may view you as a ponderous, wordy writer and your information will be difficult to understand. |
Here are two lists of wordy expressions: typical LIC expressions and typical overworked expressions, most of which can be eliminated from good business writing. |
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Table 1 - Typical Low Information Content (LIC) Expressions
(These expressions should be eliminated (shown by X) or written in shorter form) |
actually (X) |
in color, in length, in number, in size (X) |
a majority of (most) |
in connection with (about) |
a number of (many, several) |
in fact, in point of fact (X) |
as a means of (for, to) |
in order to (to) |
as a result (so) |
in such a manner as to (to) |
as necessary (X) |
in terms of (in, for) |
at present (X) |
in the course of (during) |
at the rate of (at) |
in the direction of (toward) |
at the same time as (while) |
in the event that (if) |
at this time (X) |
in the form of (as) |
bring to a conclusion (conclude) |
in the light of (X) |
by means of (by) |
in the neighborhood of, in the vicinity of
(about, near, approximately) |
| by the use of (by) |
communicate with (talk to, telephone, write to) |
involves the use of (employs, uses) |
connected together (connected) |
involves the necessity of (demands, requires) |
| contact (talk to, telephone, write to) |
is a person who (X) |
due to the fact that (because) |
is designed to be (is) |
during the course of (during) |
it can be seen that (thus, so) |
during the time that (while) |
it is considered desirable to (I or we want to) |
end result (result) |
it will be necessary to (I, you, or we must) |
exhibit a tendency to (tend to) |
of considerable magnitude (large) |
for a period of (for) |
on account of (because) |
for the purpose of (for, to) |
on the part of (X) |
for the reason that, for this reason (because) |
previous to, prior to (before) |
in an area where (where) |
subsequent to (after) |
in an effort to (to) |
with the aid of (with) |
| in close proximity to (close to, near) |
with the result that (so, therefore) |
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Table 2 - Typical Overworked Expressions
(These expressions should be eliminated because many come from local sporting or hobby activities) |
| a matter of concern |
conspicuous by its absence |
| and/or |
easier said than done |
| all things being equal |
enclosed herewith |
| as a last resort |
for your information (as opening words) |
| as a matter of fact |
if and when |
| as per |
in reference to |
| attached hereto |
in short supply |
| at this point in time |
please feel free to |
in the foreseeable future |
pursuant to your request |
| in the long run |
regarding the matter of |
| in the matter of |
the stage is set |
| it stands to reason |
this will acknowledge |
| last but not least |
we are pleased to advise |
| needless to say |
we wish to state |
| on the right track |
with reference to |
| par for the course |
you are hereby advised |
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| Take a look at how these long, convoluted sentences have been improved simply by removing the extra words. |
- If it is your intention to effect repairs to your model 2120 printer, it would be in your best interests first to assure the availability of parts for this older type of model before starting work.
Check that parts are available before starting repairs to your model 2120 printer.
- The Plant Safety Committee were in agreement that, under the requirements of last year's hazardous materials legislation, training in hazardous materials handling must be effected for all production line and ancillary employees no later than September 30.
The Plant Safety Committee agreed that, under the requirements of last year's hazardous materials legislation, all production line and ancillary employees must be trained in hazardous materials handling by September 30.
- Between a speed of 56 and 63 mph the wheel at the left front exhibits a tendency tends to shimmy.
- The end result was a 22% decrease in acidity following the introduction of Limasol Plus into the solution.
Introducing Limasol Plus into the solution decreased acidity by 22%.
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| Use the grammar tools inside your word processor to help you identify wordy expressions and make sure every word you use is essential to your sentence and to your message. |
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I continue to receive encouraging comments about the topics presented. If you have any questions about a particular aspect of writing, please email me at LisaM@rgilearning.com and I can address it in a future article.
Online instruction on how to write effective reports and proposals is available at www.rgilearning.com
© 2006, RGI Learning
Lisa Moretto is the President of RGI Learning, Inc. For 15 years she has helped engineers improve their oral and written communication skills. Visit www.rgilearning.com or call (585) 461-3617 to learn about RGI's courses.
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